Dear Diary. Well my book launch has officially come and gone…

Dear Diary.

Well my book launch has officially come and gone.

It is Friday November 1st 2024, the west coast rains are here, it may be weeks before we see 3-5 solid hours of blue skies again. As per the usual I did nothing for Halloween. The rains tonight made for a real short and lack lustre fireworks display. Right out side my building and front room windows / balcony, in the street there was a small fireworks show. Even through the rain the hand thrown fireworks had more of a bang and light show than did my book launch and the reception of what was for me a positive move forward.

I did not expect to sell a million copies in pre order sales, I also did not expect that the 254 people on my FB friends list would cause my debut book launch to instantly go viral and break the internet, that being said I also did not think that I would not get one thumbs up or not one share.

I have liked  and or shared so many haircuts, birthdays, anniversaries, new shoes, pregnancies, deaths, births, success, failures, Vacations and testimonies that in this moment frustrates me to think how little effect Facebook has at keeping me in real relationship with people on it. It is like having pen pals and hoping each other will respond. There is no one to blame so if you are still reading this I believe it is an act of God and the message is clear.

The good news is I did not rent a hotel ballroom or book the caterers for my book launch party, that would have been embarrassing. As well The Lord knows I was not looking to yack to you all about killing cockroaches 🙂 This eBook was not one of my masterpieces, so I do not feel literarily or artistically snubbed or jilted. In truth I published the book with some haste in an effort to pay some bills.

As I am writing this I switched to another browser window where there was a YouTube Short on replay, so I swiped down to the next video and this is what was playing : “https://www.youtube.com/shorts/mkaRXFUb_bk” The fellow in the video says that others might not have the same integrity, morals, principles, or values but they have funding because they have a little more courage (in a secular way) than me . What if my community is not as good as it should be because I have not launched my initiative yet and people need me.

If that was / is not a sign it sure is conspicuous synchronicity at the very least.

I have been saying to myself that I should take this in stride and accept some of the things it has shown me with out delaying that acceptance, or in some way deferring how I feel about it, and just feel it now, move on, and deal with how it feels to move on.

When I thought about the quality of relationships I have on Facebook as apposed to how they are together in real life is strikingly and vastly different. For instance on my church’s group no one asked if anyone heard from me, Knew or reported me as missing, or posted about my my 7 days on the mountain and the 10 days of recovery in Hospital. That would have meant more than some one give me even one Thumbs Up for my book launch. I was truly upset.

What exactly does the future look like I ask myself? What I know is it looks different and for me it will be better, it is a good thing.

This feels like the last day of a job or the last day of school, where we have to naturally part ways with people that you have come to love and care for and it finally sinks in that tomorrow is going to be another day but it will be like no other, it will not be the same.

I am reminded of the last episode of the T.V. show “M.A.S.H.”, how the people on set cried and we who watched it got chocked up, many crying and feeling the bitter sweet sorrow of having to say goodbye to each other. I remember it, as well as curtains closing on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Waltons, Little House On The Prairie, and when Johnny Carson Said his final good night on air. You can tell I am getting older and that I have not watched T.V. habitually for decades.

Facebook and associations on it seem a lot like T.V. in a way, you come to know and love the characters and scripts they act out on your screen, but we really don’t know each other together just more about one another, the realist thing about the relationship is a genuine sense and feeling of Philadelphia and for those in the faith a knowing we are the body of Christ, still we need to be together in “real” life for more than what facebook can do for relationships .

There is this old proverb that says “Familiarity, Breeds Contempt” and this proverb “Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder”, I think the latter is a gracious remedy for the former.

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Re: Facebook…

I am not deactivation my Facebook account. I will continue  to moderate the Church’s Group, the Gospel 101 Page, and others, I have 8k in followers on one page alone so I cannot not archive Facebook just now.

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“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven” From the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. The quote is written by the hand of Solomon, it explores some of the paradoxes of life and conveys God’s sovereignty and timing in all things. I share it to speak to the sense of balance / change in life as well as a blessed faith, hope and trust in God. There are some constant “paradoxes”.

Some people can be likened unto an equation of sorts, like some one who is a “Winner” or what is called a rational number and or sum. is a “1+1=2”
They are “One Plus One Equals Two” their name is their sum or number, and it is also their function as defined in the equation that is their name.

Some of us are a “One Divided By Three equals .333 —> Infinity” or a “3227/555=5.8144144144144144144…………………………………………”

In mathematics, the above like 2/3 is a specific number known as an irrational number. It is a number that goes on forever without repeating itself. I first came to know of it in elementary as an infinite remainder. Some of us are not a “1+1=2” or a “4+4=8” or a “10×10=100”.

Some are paradoxical equations or “irrational numbers” expressed as lives lived, some as irrational, non conformist, and like I am saying paradoxical and it may seems that there is something wrong. Why cant you figure out how to finish or fully comprehend an equation (some one) that goes on infinitely. It is a true paradox, where does the original sum and all that infinite remainder come from and go to?
As much as a real issue it is with some, and to many just one of those things in life it is a constant.  paradox’s are integral to many things upon which they are in part founded and defined in reality by such paradoxes. We All Are The Finger Prints Of God.

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I generally do not write a diary and this was written to be read. If you have read it thus far God bless you. I know it will seem like babble to some, but it feels good to see myself inside of what I am writing and just saw what was on my mind.

By the tone and feelings expressed in this post, for some of you still reading you get that buried at the end of this post is a goodbye of sorts.

Many are not going to read it or know it, but it’s here. It seems easier this way, I do not want to do a swan song on the way out. As I am typing this out and drinking a stiff cup of tea I am thinking that some of you the next time we connect with each other it will be a genuine joy to catch up with an old friend.

You can always call me on my phone and or send me a message here:

CONTACT

Or email me here

So with that I say this in love, I love you guys, and Every Blessing that God has for you I pray you receive it.

John.

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Ecclesiastes 3

To Everything There is a Season

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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